Thanksgiving Revelations

How's it hanging, blogosphere? Welcome black to my rants and raves. It's been a long time, and I shouldn't have left you ................. without a dope beat to step to.

How did you all spend your Thanksgiving? Great, okay my turn. So this past week, I returned home to Richmond, VA for the first time in damn near a year, and I was glad to be back to me old stomping grounds. I could see all my old friends, eat mostly home-cooked food, reminisce and catch up with my old high school teachers, and take in a game of the local pro sports team -- all the things that one does when they return home after a long absence.

I did barely any of those things. 

But, that's not to say that I didn't enjoy myself. To the contrary, I had an opportunity to rest, relax, and enjoy time with people I no longer see a lot while enjoying a holiday that encourages the consumption of large amounts of hearty food. I also wanted to hopefully accrue enough noteworthy happenings to relay them onto you, and I'm glad to declare that mission accomplished; here it comes.....

- Once again, HM and I failed to get-together while in the same city. Apparently, the only thing rarer than us even being in the same city is us seeing each other. At this point, I'm not sure she could point me out of a lineup. On the bright side, that means I'm off the hook for stealing her heart a few summers ago when we worked together. 

I promise it's not always this bad

- Generally, when I go home, I like to get my hair cut either before I go back or sometime while I'm there, but I completely disregarded that tradition this time around. This year is the first time that I've willfully participated in No-Shave November, though to be fair, I had basically been having a no-shave fall semester all along anyways. I will say that while there is something that is admittedly very liberating about letting lush forests of hair grow untamed wherever they may, it doesn't work the same way for everyone. I've been all atwitter about that (amongst other things) this weekend, as my hair grows too slowly on my head and my chin to look like a completely different/cooler person like most would, but plenty wildly enough on my sideburns to make me look like a bewildered jackass sometimes; think a facial bikini wax. Image disturbing enough for you? 

- With my parents having moved down to North Carolina -- GO HEELS, FUCK DUKE! -- after my mom took another job down there, it left my younger brother Han Solo(CUP) in residential limbo for a few months. Things were getting sticky for awhile, as he had to find another place to live before the lease on our old house expired, or else risk having to uproot and move to NC with them. Luckily, the mother of my best friend Qui-Gon GIN from middle/high school came through in the clutch and found them a place to move into, which was right next door to her own house. This is where I stayed for the duration of my visit to Richmond. Shout out to my partna'dems for sheltering a brotha for the long, harsh (read: moderate and relatively weather-lenient) winter week. That being said, it it too much for a brotha to ask y'all to keep some food in the house? I can only have sleep for dinner so many times.

- It was good to see my other family members that I've heard from less than my parents and brother since I started college. Let's face it: when we were all living there, it was easy to talk on a regular basis because we all saw each other quite a bit, but now that I only come home 2-3 times a year, our communication is probably good at being restricted to holidays, birthdays, happenstance, or other newsworthy events. Let's not force it here, people; in most places, you can go to jail for forcible, non-consentual contact. 

- On one day, my partner-n-crime from high school Malcshakes dropped by for a little fellowship and conversation that was enlightening for multiple reasons. While I'm not really at liberty to discuss them all, I can shed light on something that that conversation underscored for me; something that became more and more apparent everyday I was home, which is the growing disparity between the ideologies in myself and most people I know, surprisingly even with my friends back home. 

We all got to talking about drinking, which inevitably leads to questions about my own choice to declare myself (mostly) straight-edge. I'm very used to being one of the only (if not THE only) non-drinkers in any given group of people I spend time with, so I field this question a lot. It's not as if I'm an alcohol virgin, but it's rare that I'll be caught drinking something with alcohol in it; it's just not for me. We all got into a fairly spirited debate as to why I feel this way and why they don't. When pressed for a deeper reason, it's always easy to point to family substance abuse history -- the last thing my family needs is more experience there, but even I admit that jumping right to that is a bit of a copout; I'm sure most families can go to that (though that doesn't make the reason any less valid). No, my REAL reason, pretentious as it may sound, is that I take pride in not being susceptible to peer pressure the way I think most people are. I really don't mind talking or joking about it with other people because I'm 99% (never say never!) sure that there's nothing they can say to me to make me change my mind on it. 

Though it came out that way, I didn't mean to exactly insinuate that I'm better than them, but I DID mean to emphasize that I absolutely revel in the fact that I'm comfortably different than most people. At the end of the day, as I told them, I'm always going to feel much better about not falling into that crowd at the imploration of others than I would if I turned around and said "Fuck it, I'll just get drunk too." I think it'll reflect better on me if people are able to see that I didn't just do what everyone my age is expected to do and I held strong to that stand, not caring what those people said. I really don't care even a little bit if people that drink a lot find me to be boring and lame -- as my homegirl recently told me, those that care don't matter and those that matter don't care. 

Another reason is that I'm someone who admittedly suffers from being painfully self-aware at all times. Yes, that is a personal issue that I could stand to lighten up on, but that being said, I see no wrong with always wanting to have control of my facilities in social settings, something that getting drunk doesn't always afford you. I'm always told that it's nice and liberating to not have to worry about that, to just let loose and have a good time, damn the consequences, and I'm sure that's the case sometimes. There have been times -- albeit few and far between -- when I've been able to do that without the help of alcohol and found myself to have a great time. But, that's always been one of my points about alcohol all along -- it's not necessary to have a great time, and if you've gotten to the point that you feel you can't do so without it, then I think it's a bigger issue than most people are willing to admit. I'm not here to lecture about the perils of over-indulgence in alcohol -- we've all heard that song and dance our whole lives. I certainly don't mean to cast dispersions or shame on people who drink; obviously most people that we all know do, and I'm a "live and let live" kinda guy. I've always maintained that drunk people can be some of the most fun to be around (provided they do so in moderation and don't become too whiny or belligerent).  But what I'm saying is that I personally just don't see the appeal and though it might lead to some semblance of a good time more often than not (at least for a little while), I'm honestly fine with just not knowing. We came to the comical conclusion that I was better than them, but they were cooler than me. That'll do, donkey - that'll do. 

- Much on the same note as the last paragraph, I always seem to find myself in situations in which I'm the lone voice on one side of an argument and though I don't mind because I'm somewhat of a loner anyways, it can be frustrating to feel like no one ever really gets you. Case in point: Han Solo(cup), Jar-Jar Drinks (formerly known as 5Deuce4Trey), and I got into a discussion about movies we had recently seen, which led to me declaring that I had to deduct points from "Due Date" because I felt that the events in the movie leading to the climax were a little too farfetched. I'll keep it vague so as not to spoil the movie, but things happened to the characters en route to the hospital that I thought would have stopped the average person from making it on time. Anyways, when I pointed this out, they pointed out that it was silly that I was taking this movie so seriously while dismissing the events of "The Hangover" so easily. My rationale was that in a movie like "The Hangover," you go in understanding that these guys are going to Vegas and that alcohol/drugs could lead to anything crazy happening. In that, you EXPECT crazy shit to go down. In "Due Date," it's presented as if two normal guys can get into various situations that would stop anyone else and STILL manage to drive from ATL in L.A. in 3 days. That time frame isn't unrealistic, but given what transpired on their trip there, I found it a bit harder to believe than most. 

Damn you, Hollywood

But I assure you all that the relative unbelievability of "Due Date" was CHILD'S PLAY compared to that of "Hot Tub Time Machine." Now, going into a movie with a premise that ridiculous, you know you have to suspend your disbelief more than usual. Even if I allow myself to believe that a hot tub could somehow send us back in time, there are things that happen in the movie not predicated on that inane premise that completely jaded my enjoyment of the movie. Yes it was funny, but I certainly don't need to see it again, lest I ruin someone else's experience with my over-analyzation. When I brought this up, they both argued that it was ridiculous to even be having such a discussion because you are supposed to suspend disbelief going into movies anyway, but I don't see why that always has to be the case. For a movie like "X-Men" or "Harry Potter," yes. For movies like "Hot Tub Time Machine" and "Due Date," where these events occur to regular-ass people like me and you? Sorry, no sale. 

Now, I'll be the first person to claim that I think I may be becoming too cynical in my old age to objectively enjoy most movies, but the big picture here is that this was yet another case where I felt like I was arguing on a level all my own. It never ceases to amaze me how people often fixate on minute details that won't allow them to meet me on the same level that I'm on. I'm beginning to feel like Sheldor the Conqueror, with the way that I just always seem to be seeing things in what I think is a bigger light than others. I'm constantly misunderstood in arguments and flying way over everyone's head, I feel. I always assumed that back at my home base with my home friends, it would be different, but even then, it didn't seem much better.

Is it that I'm being too trivial or is it them? It was probably me when we argued the movies, but generally, I feel like people just don't get me. It's amazing how things make perfect sense to me but no one else when I'm on the other end of an argument. I am befuddled at times that there can be such a wide gap between my line of thinking and everyone else's. It's entirely possible that it's just me, but I really don't think that's ALWAYS the case. I just tend to feel as if I'm casting my pearls before swine. Not always, but enough to make me wary of how I dispense those pearls from hence forth. 

Long-winded condescending rant aside, y'all aren't that bad. I have noticed a growing disparity between myself and my friends back home, but variety is the spice of life, right? My homies back home keep me centered and most of the time, I realize that they kick up shit with me just for the sake of playing devil's advocate, which I can appreciate; it keeps me young. I love them no less for it. 

Anyways, it seems that we're all caught up, blogomaniacs. I'm back in CoMo for the stretch run of my senior year, and will need to buckle down more than ever, but don't think I'll love you knuckleheads any less, so you should still stay tuned for further developments. 

Until next time, this is Sir Marcus T. Williams signing off....Yall take care now.  

Hide Yo Kids & Hide Yo Wife: A Retro-Diary of Halloween 2010

What's really good, blogosphere? Sir Marcus here bringing the latest edition of my Rants & Raves. Long time no speak, right? You're damn right it has been, thanks for checking back in with me.

This weekend was Halloween weekend 2010 and I must say, you all are in for a treat today because in my effort to recount the events to you we're going to do something a little different. Instead of the regular logorrhea that I normally serve, I'm gonna go with a kickass retro diary from Saturday, basically walking you through the events of the most noteworthy day of the weekend. Strap those fannies in tight cuz this ride is fitna get bumpy, but we're gonna do this thang; yes we are.

First off though, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I also had a kick-ass Friday night celebrating Old Hallow's Eve with esteemed members of Team AlphaWolfSquadron (the group consisting of me and some of my former textbook temp coworkers) Chuck Goldenrod and Baby Deer. Even the Old Ball & Chain dropped by for a little while to receive her obligatory butt-whoopin' in Beer Pong from me and BD. Bless her little temp heart, thinking she could beat us; so young, so naive. Anyways, we had a gay old time Friday night and shout out to everyone I met that night; yall are alright by me. 

Saturday, October 30, 1:28 p.m.

Gossip Girl shows up at the crib to whisk us off to a watch party for the Mizzou/Nebraska game, a game that we soon saw would ultimately be decided in the 1st quarter.

First order of business: stop and get some food, as proper houseguest etiquette dictates we should. What do we decide to get, you ask? You are correct -- we DID get the 50-piece McNuggets meal from McDonald's! In a somewhat-related story, the two of us tried to take down one of these behemoths (50 nugs, 2 large fries and 2 large drinks) ourselves last year, thinking we could handle it cuz it wasn't really THAT much food. Shortly thereafter, my apartment at the time got really stuffy until I opened up the windows to let some of the wrong out. Having learned our lesson, this time we were bringing all of that food to hopefully be shared with a group of people. 

1:57 p.m.

Apparently, all of CoMo wanted McD's around that same time, but we finally managed to get outta there and to the apartment of the host of the day's festivities, wReckshop. He and GG have just recently become, ummmm, "friends," but myself and a couple of returning characters that would join us -- Bo Peep and ET -- had known him for awhile. Had no idea this was the new "friend" that GG had been referring to; It's a small world, after all. 

2:15 p.m.

Our motley crew (me, GG, ET, Bo Peep, and wReckshop) are soon joined by a random assortment of other stock characters (talks far too much guy, surprising sports knowledge girl, quiet guy, ribbons girl, etc), and a member of MU's basketball team -- we'll call him More Money, More Problems (or MMMP, for short). 

2:25 p.m. - Sidenote

As we prepare for kickoff, we are all very cognizant of the significance of this upcoming game. As would end up being discussed many times over the course of the next few hours, this game was HUGE for Mizzou. While last week's win and subsequent awesome field-storming against Oklahoma was monumental historically (guess I should have told yall about that one, huh?), it would ultimately mean next to nothing if we lost this game to Nebraska, thus conceding control of the Big 12 North to them. We don't win the Big 12 North, we don't go to the Big 12 title game. We don't go to the Big 12 title game, we don't get a shot at the national title and likely miss out on any other big name bowl game. If we had to lose a game this season, it would have been better to lose to OU than lose to Nebraska. 

2:37 p.m.

The game kicks off. MU receives the ball, but in something that would become a familiar sight during this game, doesn't get to return it because the NU kick results in a touchback. MU ball on the 20. Much less exciting opening kickoff than what we saw last week, but oh well. If we are going to win today, we need to weather the frenzied storm of this crowd and do something positive, starting right now. Also: Talks Too Much Guy's mouth has been going a mile a minute since he arrived. I can tell he probably won't get much time to help out with our mountain of nuggets.

2:44 p.m.

MU's less-than-encouraging first drive results in a punt and maybe two positive yards. Not the start we wanted, but those opening game jitters generally go for both sides, right? As long as MU doesn't shit the bed in these first few minutes, we'll be able to compete today.

2:45 p.m.

We weren't too concerned about punting to them because our defense has been damn good this season. Then on their 2nd play, a poor tackling angle from our defenders ensures that Nebraska RB Roy Helu, Jr. skates 66 yards untouched for the first TD. Talk about your boner killers. 

2:53 p.m.

We're about 5 minutes into game time and MU has run 6 plays for a net total of 1 yard and punts back to Nebraska, whose fans are understandably in a tizzy. Their momentum continues as they quickly move into our red zone on a long pass. We manage to keep them from getting another TD and they settle for a FG from their All-American K. 10-0 Nebraska, but 2 things our group has going for us: 1) MU not allowing a TD once they got inside the 20 keeps them as the leading red-zone defense in the nation and 2) we've finished roughly 70% of the nuggets. 

3:03 p.m.

After the obligatory Nebraska touchback, MU has the ball again and shows signs of life on a 20 yard pass to T.J. Moe. Then our bad offense showed up again and 3 plays later, we are punting again. At least we were consistent in one area. 

3:05 p.m.

Fortunately for us, Nebraska is insisting on throwing the ball instead of running it, which is generally their strength. Unfortunately for us, our CB Carl "Winslow" Gettis did not bring his track shoes to the game today, taking yet another poor angle and getting burnt BADLY on a double move by their TE, who really isn't that fast, but scores a TD anyways. 17-0 Nebraska. Damn you, Carl!

3:12 p.m.

MU gets the ball back and after being granted another 1st down via a Nebraska defensive penalty, manages to earn itself another punt. I've never owned my own car, but even I know what the expression "stuck in neutral" means. 

3:16 p.m.

It is now 24-0 Nebraska after Roy Helu Jr again scores, this time on a 73-yard TD run. He also wasn't touched on this one by any of our defenders. Ballgame. No way in 5 hells that Missouri is surmounting a 24-point 1st quarter deficit in a environment this hostile and deep down, we all knew it. Disappointment and silence abound throughout the room. Even Talks Too Much Guy is stunned into.... still talking.  Okay, so it wasn't TOTAL silence. 

For the next 3 quarters, Missouri actually manages to slightly outplay and outscore Nebraska, but the hole is just too big and we lose our first game, 31-17. I'm not saying that we shat the bed, but they certainly don't make diapers big enough for the mess we made in the 1st quarter. Ultimately, if this goes down as our only loss, then our season is a success, but this was likely the most important game of the year, unfortunately. Oh well, on to the more important part of Saturday....

10:13 - 10:30 p.m.

Most of the gang

After taking a couple of hours to retire to our separate quarters and recharge our batteries, GG is back to pick me up and me, her, ET, and wReckshop head downtown to Shiloh's to see what they have to offer. Meeting us down there would be Bo Peep and her roommate Ms. Peacock, as well as GG's roommate Mollywhop. I went as Antoine Dodson of "Hide yo' kids, Hide yo' Wife" fame, GG went as Snooki from that awful show about guidos that everyone but me seems to enjoy, wReckshop went as random guy that punched Snooki (I loved the clever simplicity of this), ET went as a "Naughty or Nice" Christmas girl, Bo Peep went as Rachel Green from "Friends," and Ms. Peacock earned her name because she went that way. Get it? Got it? Good.

10:50ish p.m.
I should note that we went to Shiloh's because A) as expected, on our way there, we saw everyone and their mama tryna pack into Fieldhouse, which was our usual summer stomping grounds before I became a social hermit, and B) because we were given to understand that Shiloh's had no cover charge. Well, they ended up having one after all, but it didn't matter because we saw that we at least wouldn't have a tough time getting served or getting a table. It was far from packed, but there were just enough people there that we didn't feel like the social pariahs of the downtown CoMo Halloween scene. That's all we could really ask.

10:55ish p.m
Everybody now has their drinks and I have my Mountain Dew; time to park asses in seats and check out the scenery. Some of the notable costumes around the bar: A group of guys dressed as the recently-freed Chilean miners (too soon, you say? Well that's VERY insensitive to the creative genius of those guys. I certainly salute them), a former classmate of mine teased her hair out and came as a shockingly accurate depiction of Garth from Wayne's World, and, perhaps the best costume outside of our group, a girl dressed as Dora the Explorer. Even we had to admit that this girl was rockin' the shit outta her backpack.  Too bad I had the "Best Minority" costume on LOCK.

11:15ish p.m.

Peep the face. 

Bo Peep and I had spent most of the game earlier synchronizing a series of hand/facial gestures and by this point, we were well on our way to putting them to good use. You don't believe me? Check the facebook pictures, Doubting Thomas.

(SIDEBAR: I'm graduating this semester and though I'll still be around CoMo for awhile, Bo Peep is moving to Iowa City for her final semester to take part in an internship, meaning our good times together are coming to a close sooner than preferred. Saddest of faces. I'm gonna miss this girl to fuckin death, and you can run and tell THAT, homeboy.)


11:37 p.m.

Mid rug-cutting

I love people watching as much as the next guy, but we had all come there with a move, and we fully intended on busting it. With the likes of "Thriller" and "The Cupid Shuffle" being played, that dance floor never stood a chance. Somebody grab a brotha another Mountain Dew!

12:01 a.m.
Apparently there was a costume contest going on this entire time, but me and my gang of ruffians had no idea, so we were never officially entered. YOU'RE WELCOME, everyone at the bar not sitting at the cool table.

Between 12 and 1 a.m.
Much of the same stuff from earlier, except we would soon be joined by MMMP and TTMG. Also joining us, random less-than-awesome straggler friend (LTASF) of ET and Bo Peep. In an effort to protect their dignity, let's just leave it at that.

1:15ish a.m.
The activity at the bar is dying down, so it's time to mobilize. Everyone in the group except for me, Bo Peep, Ms. Peacock, and LTASF head out to an afterparty at MMMP's house. The rest of us were gonna go home, but got outside and upon realization that Bo Peep had never been to Broadway Diner, we decide we have time for a good old fashioned cherry popping and we walk the 20 feet to the diner.

1:45ish
While waiting on our food, Bo Peep and LTASF go BALLS DEEP into a "Who's the bigger Dave Matthew's Band fan?" debate, one that was contested vehemently for awhile, but the outcome was never seriously in doubt. Bless LTASF's heart - he's as close to Bo Peep in that regard as I've ever seen - but she remains the biggest Dave Matthews Band fan I've ever met.

Where has this girl been all my college life? Also: NIP SLIP.

While they discussed that for what seemed like hours, Ms. Peacock and got time to catch up -- paint each other's nails, fix up each other's hair, etc -- and what not. When food time arrived, she got a chocolate chip pancake that appeared to be swimming in sprinkles. A lesser person would have gone into a diabetic coma after taking one of those bad boys down, but this clearly was not her first picnic, as it never even fazed her. The key, as she put it, was to eat it with butter instead of syrup. After all, it's tough to enjoy a multiple cavity-inducing, dessert-like pancake while worrying about the calories that syrup would bring; I TOTALLY get that.

2:10ish
Her Broadway Diner cherry officially popped, we all pile outta the diner and get ready to head home. Fun Fact: An innocuous comment about his inferior Dave Matthews fandom by Ms. Peacock sends LTASF storming off in a separate direction while we were on the way to the car, presumably out of our lives forever. Damn, that was a shame. He was JUST starting to get less awesome.

2:30ish
Finally home after what is presumably my last college Halloween experience. Sad face yes, but great times had by all. New friends made, new experiences had, new drugs taken - er, pictures taken.  Though Halloween wasn't technically until the Sunday, I would just use that day to catch my breath from the previous two nights of awesoming. Maybe I could have celebrated it again Sunday night, but it was the Sabbath day, so I kept it holy and rested instead - hard to argue with the Bible.

Anyways, thanks for stopping by for storytime, blogomaniacs. We really should do it again sometime - 'twas fun. Until next time, this is Sir Marcus T. Williams signing off......

Yall stay classy now.